Forgiveness

Today I was reflecting on forgiveness and how it is often misunderstood. So many people feel that if you forgive someone, it means you accept and forget whatever wrong has been done to you. They think you have to erase the hurt and pretend it never happened.

Instead, forgiveness is about releasing the hold that the negative emotions tied to your past that have an effect on your present.

Forgiveness can be tricky. Some people tend to forgive easily without setting future boundaries. This can be dangerous. If you forgive too easily and just sweep things under the rug, you may end up feeling like you can't trust that person any longer.

Others tend to find it hard to forgive. And honestly, I know personally, that some things are harder to forgive. I struggled for years to forgive my mother for my childhood. "She should have protected me" "She should have believed me when I told her I was being abused" The list goes on. Years later, she was no longer living but I still had this anger inside of me.

The Dalai Lama says "Forgiveness means not to forget what they have done. But forgiveness means do not keep your negative feelings toward them. As far as their action is concerned, you use your intelligence. You totally have to take countermeasures, but without negative feeling." This is such a powerful statement.

Forgiveness Is Not Forgetting.

To forgive doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened or act as if the hurtful actions never occurred. It’s perfectly natural to remember the events that caused pain, but the key difference is that when you forgive, you no longer allow that memory to control your emotions or your actions. You acknowledge the event, understand its impact, and choose to move forward with a lighter heart, no longer bound by anger, resentment, or bitterness.

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you approve of what they did. It doesn’t mean you condone their behavior or give them a free pass. It simply means that you’re choosing not to let that event or person weigh down your spirit. The past, however painful, should not be allowed to dictate your happiness or mental peace.

I hope someone needed to hear this today and I hope it helped.

Love and peace!

Ruthie ❤️ ☮️